Forgive me, Vincent...
Please play the song as you read this blog. I have loved the song as long as I can remember, but today it made me weep because I now understand what the source of his pain was…
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I spent a majority of my major in upper level and graduate level art history classes - yet somehow I missed an important detail in Van Gogh’s Starry Night. Don McClean didn’t fully clue me in when he sang about Vince, and the sky, and love…though I see now that McClean understood, too.
Starry Night ~ Vincent Van Gogh, 1889, Oil on Canvas 73 × 92 cm, 28¾ × 36¼ in
The Van Gogh Gallery says of the painting:
“Perhaps the cool dark colors and the fiery windows spark memories of our own warm childhood years filled with imagination of what exists in the night and dark starry skies. The center point of the town is the tall steeple of the church, reigning largely over the smaller buildings. This steeple casts down a sense of stability onto the town, and also creates a sense of size and seclusion. ”
The ‘fiery windows’ and the ‘sense of stability’ from the steeple are at odds with what I now see and know.
Vincent’s father was a minister. Vincent desired to follow in his father’s footsteps to share the hope of Jesus Christ with the least of these. He ‘trained’ for it, but was a poor student. He was poor at public speaking. He wasn’t a natural. It was a struggle.
Yet because of his sincerity, he was assigned as an evangelist to a small coal-mining town in Belgium where he could fulfill his heart’s desire. He found himself deeply moved by the destitute flock and all he experienced there. He was moved to sketch and paint these people. His superiors admired his care and concern, but after about 6 months the church terminated his assignment due to his lack of preaching skills.
Now look at his painting Starry Night.
The windows of the church are black and cold.
In another painting, The Church at Auvers, notice the church is dark inside and has no doors. His deep disappointment from his ‘failures’ as a preacher and the church’s response never healed. I am grieved.
The Church at Auvers ~ Vincent Van Gogh, 1890Oil on Canvas, 94 x 74cm - 37 x 29 Inches
Rory Noland, in his book The Heart of The Artist, (which I do NOT recommend or endorse, but am referencing to make my point) notes this of Van Gogh:
“One can’t help but wonder how different Van Gogh’s life might have been had the church encouraged him to be what God obviously made him to be - an artist. I wish a caring Christ-follower had come along side him and said “Hey, Vince, maybe preaching is not your thing. But God gave you an amazing ability to paint and draw, so why not serve God with your art instead of trying to be a preacher?”
I would only add to Noland’s "wish" that Van Gogh could have indeed fulfilled his heart’s desire to preach THROUGH his art and not given up that aspect at all. I believe they are one and the same in the heart of an artist called by God. It is not an either / or.
Actually, Vincent does 'preach' through his art - and still does. He just didn't know it.
He lived in a different day.
I also want to note that because the 'church' of his time (or even one or two or a few particular people) treated him the way they apparently did - is not a reflection of Jesus and His response to such as these.
Always get to know Jesus…go to the source for the answers, not the counterfeits.
My experience in the last year ministering to the 'darkened church’ has reminded me that all who proclaim the name of Christ are not little Christ’s themselves (ie “Christians“, or “Christ-Followers”). There is a mission field inside the so-called 'church' to these lost ones.
I understand the dark windows in Starry Night.
I understand the doorless building that is The Church at Auvers.
My family informally 'counsels' (loving and listening) with the wounded and messed up product of such places. We have spent late nights with the young ones who have lopped off their own ears (metaphorically) in the wake of manipulation and false teaching. Preachers who lie in the name of Christ have a special necklace awaiting them (it’s called a millstone).
I want to apologize to all the Vincent’s out there who have ever been hurt by those in the (so-called) ‘church’. I plead with you to trust again -- and know that this manipulation & deceit is not the message of the true Church - the true Body of Jesus Christ.
“They would not listen - they're not list'ning still -- perhaps they never will.”
We are listening! Don’t cast aside those who still uphold the Truth and want you to know there is Hope.
“They would not listen - they did not know how -- perhaps they'll listen now.”
Yes!
'Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. He who overcomes, I will grant to him to sit down with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne.
~Revelation 3:20-21
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ADDED NOTE:
Anyone who imagines him/herself in this particular blog should be aware it is not targeted at a specific group - or a specific person (or written in CODE or as a way to vent-- wink wink) - but to all of us in 'the church’ as a whole… it is about self-examination as a body - and was born out of the personal experiences of witnessing the pieces of broken hearts scattered along the paths of life... victims of those who lie and deceive from inside the "church"
No code there... no venting there...
Van Gogh was a casualty.
There are casualties every day.
I have been thanked by some recent casualties…thanked for trying to understand and for attempting to reach out to them...in Truth.
Sometimes the Church just messes up because they are not mature; they make a mistake - they don’t mean to - it just happens … we all do that… and sometimes the "church" messes up because they are not walking in the Light...THAT is not acceptable.
This blog also contains entries on Forgiveness,
Pain,
and
Owning up to Our Own 'Stuff'.
Take a look around ...
I began this week really immersing myself in the lyrics of this modern hymn... and I was sure (or at least hopeful) we would sing it at church this Easter morning... We did!- with full choir and orchestra. This was greatly encouraging to me and I was caught up barely able to "sing" (which is not a sad thing at all as I use the term "sing" lightly when applied to myself... I more or less croak and squeak and always feel the need to apologize to whomever sits in front of me). HOPE for the believer is not something that might happen or might come or might materialize ... HOPE for the believer is a promise... a guarantee and THAT is the Hope we sing about... the HOPE we celebrate! ~Katey 
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