...ever have one of those moments when you long to rewind and redo?
If I could only carry out what is in my heart - but too often my mouth gets in the way (so went the morning as I simply wanted to express 'thanks' to someone special)...
I too often get in the way ... I am learning to BE STILL
It has been two months since I posted, but I have "blogged" in my mind a hundred times at least. It has been over a year and a half since my Dad stepped into eternity. Mom has been shrinking of a broken heart since; and now metastatic cancer is shrinking her a bit more.
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Dad Late Summer 2008 (he was hunting for driftwood & beachglass for me)
There have been dozens of trips to doctors and tests and procedures... not unlike the last 15 or so years with she and Dad, and me as their medical "tour director" except I have asked siblings to join in this time. It is not about me needing help; it is about them getting to know Mom in a new way by being there with her on the front line.
It has all made me think of Dad more and more (as if that were possible). He always was my one true ally, friend, defender, secret-keeper, and comrade in this motley, lovely family I have been placed in.
We recently purchased "Matlock" on dvd and have been watching and smiling. You see, Dad had Matlock's hair and occasionally some of his expressions. We catch glimpses of "Papa" when we watch. Yesterday I realized it was Andy Griffith's ("Matlock") 84th birthday and I stumbled across a poignant music video of him with Brad Paisley called "Watin on a Woman"...
The aged Andy really does look more like my Dad as my Dad aged ... moreso than even Matlock did. The music video is warm, sweet, and heart wrenching as 'Andy' prepares for death and goes on ahead "waitin" for his woman to join him on the other side... he doesn't mind the wait... he wants her to take her time getting there.