Thursday, October 21, 2010

"I'm the typical"

Come on, can’t I dream for one day
There’s nothing that can’t be done
But how long should it take somebody
Before they can be someone?
‘Cause I know there’s got to be another level
Somewhere closer to the other side
And I’m feeling like it’s now or never
Can I break the spell of the typical
I’ve lived through my share of misfortune
And I’ve worked in the blazing sun
But how long should it take somebody
Before they can be someone
Cause I know there’s got to be another level
Somewhere closer to the other side
And I’m feeling like it’s now or never
Can I break the spell of the typical, the typical, the typical, uh huh
I'm the typical
I'm the typical
Can I break the spell of the typical
Because it’s dragging me down
I’d like to know about when
When does it all turn around
I'm just the typical
I'm just the typical

My sweet friends - passers by - artists - precious ones...
~I have not uttered “why me?” throughout this entire too-many-funerals-many-years ride… not for the 12 days as I sat next to my Mom dying in the hospital - swatting away some of the death-mongering medical staff that deem the elderly spent and useless. I did not utter against God as Mom faced a wicked month in “rehab” (aka a nursing-home-dying-depot)… I didn’t argue that she was handed a mortal blow in the form of a great big engraving across her forehead that read “Metastasic Breast Cancer at age 84 / Doomed” … the “doomed” part was wholley the result of the cruelty of words; the way things are spoken carelessly; the lies that are thoughtlessly sputtered by so many fools.
~I came close to questioning the reactions from extended family members who didn’t get the big picture … and when I tried to get them to spend time with Mom (for their sakes not mine) I was met with my own anger and frustration...a tall hurdle for me. Even when I went through several months of my own head-spinning, breath-sucking cancer testing which resulted in a lumpectomy for my birthday last June - I fought hard to not allow the language of death or the lies so easily spoken by those so well-intended, but oh so ill-informed, to crush me. I separated myself from liars and fools. I have not found comfort in phrases like “why me” ~ not because I am strong or wise, but because it just does not matter. Did Job not say “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” ?
~God has made His presence known in very real ways to me. He gave me literal messengers and very tangible messages. I am not a flamboyant woo-woo zombie surface-believer type; I am a Christian who is completely reliant on the mercy and grace of God - and He met me in very real ways throughout this very real war I have been plunged into.
~I have come to realize that making it through one monumental battle does not award me the respite of facing less, or better yet, NO more battles. In fact, they seem to get closer and uglier as I move ahead. I am intrigued that the enemy of my soul is frightened enough of my sure and eternal standing in Christ that he attempts to derail me again and again. Loser.
~Am I typical? I am. No trial or temptation or wicked circumstance or foolish voice or insensitive stranger or dark diagnosis has befallen me that is not common to all of us.
~Why then do the song lyrics capture my attention when I hear Cause I know there’s got to be another level. Somewhere closer to the other side - And I’m feeling like it’s now or never - Can I break the spell of the typical” -- because it is all about how I react and what I do with these very typical, common complaints of life… no matter how many I face and how often. I am called to rise above the typical - to be more than I am right now and be a light in a dark world. “Come on, can’t I dream for one day - There’s nothing that can’t be done, but how long should it take somebody before they can be someone?

~' I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…' that’s it... however long it takes. period.

...Philippians 4:13

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And, "If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?"So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good. ~ 1 Peter 4:12-19 (NIV)
(The Message): verse 12 - Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.
(Amplified): verse 12 - Beloved, do not be amazed and bewildered at the fiery ordeal which is taking place to test your quality, as though something strange (unusual and alien to you and your position) were befalling you.


Another side to this whole "breaking the spell of the typical" is my continued drive and restlessness to get myself out of this art-rut that captivates and holds me prisoner... where I create in spurts because that is all I am able to do. I have more in me than can get out and the result is more unproductivity than productivty (alot of good intentions left unfinished). It is "now or never" I think - or at least I want to attempt to think that. Life is going to keep happening (thank God, amen). I can look back and see why I haven't accomplished much, but I cannot use that to excuse anything. Life (and death, and accidents, and diseases, and good things too) will continue to come at full speed - right in my face. I am longing to capture all that I can while I can despite the speed of life - so that I can rise above mediocrity... typical ... usual ... average.

POST Post Script (after reading some of the responses here and on FB) I want to emphasize that
I didn't ask "why me" because I am strong or know how to handle difficult things - I am WEAK and FRAIL - and there were times when all I could utter was "Jesus" -- and it was in that weakness He came to me and held me together. In Romans 8:26-28 Paul speaks of the Holy Spirit groaning on our behalf ... I realize now (thank-you Pastor Alistair Begg) that when I had nothing left within myself Jesus was then fully there for me in my nothingness. "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will" ... amen


shell-rose creations said...


Dan said...

Heavy stuff, Katey, but I believe you have the right attitude and the right Biblical basis for it. We're reminded daily, some more than others, that this world is not perfect. Mutemath's yearning seems to be an appeal to go almost, but not quite, as far as "Break on through to the other side", which Jim Morrison wished for and may now be experiencing, though it's probably NOT what he was expecting! I gather so much more comfort contemplating "When Trials Come" by the Getty's, and reminding myself of Philippians 4:13.

Be blessed, my friend. Your work is not in vain.

BLUEYEDUCKstudios said...

Dan - mutemath is far from Morrison in their foundation & perspective ... I can't speak for the location of their hearts - but one blogger put it well when he said this "I'm won over by Mute Math's openness in talking about the struggles of being Christians who want to make music for more than just their fellow Christians. They haven't shed the faith; just the faith industry. That distinction makes all the difference"

PS Thank you for encouraging me!

nic2415 said...

You summed up the argument against the "why me" mentality. Now can we buy you a blowhorn so you can announce it....behind me.....everywhere I I don't forget.....even for a minute. <3

BLUEYEDUCKstudios said...

Nic - you always "get it" -- THANK-You for posting ...
perhaps it is because you too are not a 'flamboyant woo-woo zombie surface-believer type' ... you know the Shepherd and hear His voice ... and see "the sacred in the profane" (holy moments are everywhere because His Truth is Truth no matter where it appears) ... and we are meant to give Him glory - always and in everything.

Let's not forget this all... together - by blow-horns and whispers xo

Anonymous said...

Thank you Katey for this post. This year has seen alot of heartache and trials for me, but I have not gone through it as gracefully as I should. I needed to hear this and 'see' it through you. <3